Luxord's New Game
by Kali-Aurai
Summary: Luxord comes back from a new world, and tells the rest of the Organization of a new game: Truth or Dare. There's only one pairing: AkuZeku. T for slight obscenities and language...


_~Okay, so I haven't uploaded anything in years, and this is the first Kingdom Hearts fanfic I've ever done (which is strange, because Kingdom Hearts is my favorite of all time. By the way, I do not own any of these amazing characters, although I wish I owned Axel (3). I hope you have fun reading this, and reviews are always appreciated!~_

_~Also, this is a one-shot, unless at least five people complain that it needs another chapter.~_

**Luxord's New Game**

Zexion looked around at the group gathered. All of the Organization, minus Xemnas and Saix (it was time for the daily "briefing"), as well as Riku were gathered around Luxord in a circle.

"Okay," Luxord was saying, "I went to that new world, and found quite a few new games we should try out. This one looked the funnest."

There was a moment of silence as the drunk left off to increase suspense.

"Xigbar!" He shouted suddenly, pointing his finger at the pirate.

"My hands weren't in Demyx's pants, I swear! Wait, what?" Xigbar threw his hands in the air, away from Demyx, who was smiling obliviously, and looked around at the group in confusion. A couple of the members snickered.

"Truth, or Dare?" Luxord said, narrowing his eyes.

"Uh, Dare," Xigbar shuffled around, feeling the expectant look of the others.

"I dare you to… wear a pair of Marluxia's underwear on your head!" The drunkard began laughing hysterically, as did Axel and Xaldin.

"But, that means that my underwear will have to touch his head!" Marluxia yelled. He looked sick. So did Xigbar. "I don't know where that pirate has been!"

"I don't know where that flower child's been, either. I mean, really, he's a bigger pervert than me."

"Come on, now, if you don't do it, you give me all your money," Luxord threatened.

The two men paled.

"Marluxia. Give me your underwear."

"What? I'm not giving you my—WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Xigbar tackled Marluxia to the ground, pulling the pink-haired man's cloak open. The group watched with hushed laughter as Xigbar pulled off Marluxia's pants, and then his underwear. Xigbar shoved the underwear on his head, wincing a little, and sat on the floor, amid the roaring laughter of the rest of the Organization.

Marluxia slowly pulled his pants on, staring at Xigbar in a frightened way, then slowly stood up and ran out of the room at top speed. Luxord fell over laughing.

"Okay, Xigbar," Luxord gasped between chuckles, "it's your turn."

"My turn?"

"Yes, you ask a person of your choice "Truth or Dare," then make up one of whichever they choose."

Xigbar thought for a while, scratching Marluxia's flower print underwear. He smiled maniacally and glanced at Zexion.

"Zexion!" Xigbar pointed dramatically at the pygmy emo, who paled. "Truth or Dare!"

"Tr-truth!" Zexion squeaked.

"Who do you have a crush on?" Xigbar asked, getting up into Zexion's personal space and speaking in the shorter man's ear.

"I—that's absurd—we don't have hearts—there's no one here to my tastes—I—there isn't—" Zexion trailed off, turning redder with each protest. "It—It's Axel," he finally squeaked out.

"Haha! I knew it!" Xigbar roared, smacking the blushing pygmy on the back. Axel stared in amazement at Zexion. The pyro slowly smiled and pushed Xigbar away from Zexion.

Axel pushed Zexion's hair out of his face, and leaned down, slowly, to give the pygmy emo a kiss. The others gathered cheered for Zexion's success.

Luxord slapped Zexion on the back in that way that men do to congratulate each other.

"You two can continue this later, but for now, we're still playing the game, and it's your turn, Zexion." Luxord said.

"Oh, well," Zexion mumbled. Axel smiled, and put his arm around Zexion's waist, but otherwise deceased with the romantic endeavors. "Xaldin, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare," Xaldin growled. He raised a thick eyebrow at the pygmy emo, and glanced towards Xigbar. The pirate was currently trying to get into Demyx's pants, and failing, since the rocker was frightened of the neon pink underwear.

"I dare you to see how far you can shove one of your lances into Xigbar's backside," Zexion whispered. All motion stopped as Xaldin smiled a murderous smile. Xigbar took one frightened look at Xaldin and hightailed it out of there.

"You mind if I ask the next person Truth or Dare first, and then do that?"

"Go ahead."

"Demyx," Xaldin growled. "Truth or Dare?"

"Uuuh, dare!" Demyx cheered.

"I dare you to use your sitar to drench Larxene." Xaldin said, then ran out of the room in the direction Xigbar had left in.

"Okay!" Demyx shoved his fist in the air. He opened his hand, and his sitar appeared in a rush of water. Larxene looked up from doing her nails and glared at Demyx, sparks flying out of her hair.

"If you dare, you little demon, to actually get me wet, I will kill you," Larxene threatened in a severe voice.

"Xaldy told me to!" Demyx yelled as he strummed an A-chord on his sitar and a water pitcher on a nearby table exploded to splash on Larxene. The single female in the room stood in silence for a moment, stray sparks of electricity flying everywhere. Those closest to her scooted quickly away.

"I am going to KILL you," Larxene promised. She stalked out the room, twitching.

"Huh?" Demyx looked around. "Why'd she leave and not even hit me?"

Luxord snickered. "Her panties probably shrank in the water. Shrinkable knickers are never a good thing to wear."

"What are 'knickers'?" Demyx asked.

"Shut up, you git, and ask someone the question," Luxord sighed. He rubbed his forehead and looked around. "Anyone know where a pint can be found?"

"Uuuuh, Roxie! Truth or Dare?"

"Tr-truth," Roxas mumbled.

"Uh, what's your greatest fear?"

Roxas thought it over for a minute.

"I'd have to say it's between a Marluxia-Xigbar gang-rape situation, or losing Namine."

"Bloody 'ell, it's a death wish just to say Marly, Xig, and gang-rape in the same sentence," Luxord exclaimed. "Well, go ahead, Roxas."

"Axel, Truth or Dare?"

"Hm, guess I'd have to go with Dare, of course," Axel grinned.

"I dare you to kiss everyone in this room," Roxas said. He crossed his arms with a triumphant look. Zexion paled slightly and looked at the ground. Axel shrugged.

"Okay, I'll save the best for last then." Axel went up to Luxord, grimaced, and kissed the drunk on the lips. Both pulled away soon as possible and began gagging.

"Your breath smells like Germany!" Axel yelled.

"Well, your breath smells like Chernobyl!" Luxord replied.

"Don't bring Chernobyl into this," Vexen sighed. "That's just being straight-down rude. You went too far—YUCK!" The scientist's lecture was stopped short when Axel quickly sneaked in a kiss.

Lexaeus stood silently when Axel kissed him, and offered no emotional reaction at all. Riku glared at Axel and implied that if the pyro didn't make it quick, he'd end up dead.

When Axel kissed Roxas, Roxas didn't want to let it end, but had to as the red-head pulled away. Then, Axel kissed Zexion, and the kissing when on for a long, long time.

"Hurry up already, or just get a room!" Luxord finally yelled.

Axel glanced at the drunk and shrugged. "Vexen, Truth or Dare?"

"Dare, I suppose," the scientist said cautiously.

"I dare you to down a whole bottle of one of Luxord's strongest drinks," Axel grinned. Luxord chuckled as he handed Vexen a bottle of rum. Vexen turned bright red, remembering the last time he drank liquor.

"Fine," he said as he popped out the stopper and gulped down the contents. He grimaced at the sharp flavor. Axel elbowed Luxord in the side.

"What do you think he'll do this time?" Axel whispered.

"Maybe he'll do same as last—and try to get into everyone's pants, while wearing Namine's dress." Luxord giggled.

Vexen threw the bottle down when he finished, coughing at the taste. He glared at Axel and Luxord. "All right, Luxord, Truth or Dare?"

Luxord giggled as Vexen's eyes slowly lost focus. "I choose Truth. I'm not going to do a dare made up by a drunkard."

"You're one to talk. Fine. Why do you always drink and gamble and never take anything seriously?" Vexen struggled to stay standing without swaying.

Luxord stood quietly for a moment, looking at Vexen with a serious expression. Riku, Axel, Roxas, and Zexion quietly watched.

Luxord suddenly smiled. "Because, I'm the Gambler of Fate. You want to know why, it's because I lost my own Fate. There's nothing out there for me, so I drink, I gamble, and I go all out on missions. Yet, somehow, I'm still not dead."

Vexen looked at Luxord with a maniacal, triumphant expression, then collapsed on the floor.


End file.
